Progress Report

Here we are at the end of our first school year that both kids actually attended and survived.  It is still a little bit of a stretch to call it ‘school’ considering that it is just a half-day preschool for 3 – 6 year olds, but nonetheless, they do real work, with real lessons…and they accept real money for it, so I am going to go ahead and declare that it is real school.  Yesterday we had an appointment with the two teachers (whom by themselves corral 24 of these whirling dervishes on a daily basis) to discuss the progress of both of our perfect little angels, and I am proud to report that they are both on course to be fine, upstanding citizens whom are well above the national standard in every possible category that you can dream up.  In fact, according to this progress report, they will have no issues….for the rest of their lives….ever.  It’s amazing what they can determine by such an early age these days.  Technology is a bad mammer-jammer.

Ok, I might be stretching it just a bit, but they did fair well in most of their studies and we are ready for the Summer so we can get busy on forgetting everything we learned the entire school year.  The end of the year coincides with Mother’s Day and one of their last take home projects was a cookbook in which each of the children in the class had a page of their own.  The teachers had these little flip books made up with a picture and a recipe on each page and these entries were clearly my favorite take home project they have ever done.  It ranks slightly ahead of the coloring scribble that Matthew used to commonly show off, or the ever present hand print that they convert into a thanksgiving turkey during the Fall holiday season.  Apparently the teachers audio recorded all the kids giving directions on how to make a particular dish and here are the entries that ensued:

Katie – Turkey and Pancakes

Turkey

Ummm….Just put it on a pan and put it in the stove for like 50 minutes.  Make the oven really hot, so that you can not touch it, because it might burn your finger.

Pancakes

You just warm it up in the microwave, and push the buttons.  Then it goes like around and around and that’s how you make it warm.  I don’t like them cold, because it will make me freezing.

Matthew – Rice

Put rice in a pan with water in it, boil it with flames of FIRE.  But the fire is under it.  Cook it for 7 minutes.  You can put carrots on it, but I do not like carrots.  So just eat one or two of them.

While there are many amusing things about these entries, the funniest is that Matthew chose rice, which is a dish that he rarely eats if ever.  It’s like pulling teeth to even get him to try the stuff so who knows why he picked that dish to describe.  I have a feeling that if you did a cookbook each day, the kids would have a different entry every time as the combination between their short term memory and their imagination provide us some long lasting memories, not to mention some bend over belly laughs.

This morning we celebrated Mother’s Day a little early as we all three kicked off the weekend extravaganza with a little breakfast in bed.  Nothing particularly fancy but the eggs with turkey, bell peppers, onions and mushrooms seemed to hit the spot and while the two little ones weren’t exactly a huge help, they did participate in their own unique way.  All I can say is thank God for Scooby Doo because when it came time to actually do the cooking, Mr. Doo provided a perfect distraction to occupy them JUST enough which allowed me to finish this smorgasbord of a meal and deliver it before it was time for our next meal.  Stage one is complete and now on to stage two – an overall cleaning of that rolling cookie crumb collector otherwise known as the mini-van.  It’s amazing how that thing can go from clean to filthy in 5.8 seconds.

 

School

Here we are at the back end of the school calender and it has me wondering – exactly when did the choosing of your child’s school become such a life or death situation?  Back in the day, (as they say) it was as simple as your home address pointing you the way.   Your entire educational experience was all laid out like a road map….of course no one really knew where the map would lead, you just knew what direction to follow.  In 2013, it’s more like one of those mazes made out of grass hedges that you see featured in those big books in the dentist office’s waiting room.  Everywhere you turn is both a dead end and a completely new branch of the maze and before you know it, you are right back where you started from.  The options are seemingly endless nowadays and while we seem to have a little better grasp on the entire situation then we did a year ago, we are still a far cry from being able to find that piece of cheese at the end of the maze.

Even in yesteryear, you still had a choice of either public or private.  The pool of private schools was much smaller so if you weren’t interested, or couldn’t afford the 2 or 3 choices that you had, then the answer was an easy one to derive at.  I am a product of the fine public schools of Jacksonville, Arkansas, and while my experience seemed to be a fairly positive one, I can now look back and see that I wasn’t exactly attending the high school equivalent of Harvard, Stanford or William & Mary.  But that raises the question – isn’t education really up to the student themselves?  We have had countless success stories come from what could only be described as mediocre educational systems and while the odds are certainly with those fancy, dancy private schools with their valet parking and sprawling campuses, the odds can very easily be beat.  Yes, in the classroom, you are generally only exposed to the words that are coming out of the teacher’s mouth, but even the humblest of schools usually have libraries and textbooks that contain a plethora of knowledge that could take one to the ends of the Earth and beyond.  To quote the great Will Hunting from Southie “You dropped 150 grand on an ******* education that you could have gotten for $1.50 in late charges at the public library.”

Both Katie and Matthew are currently enrolled in a half day Montessori school in which we like (we think), so we have another year to decide on the next direction for him, but on par with the first 5 years of his life, I am sure this next year will fly by before we know it and we might find ourselves scrambling to make the perfect decision at the last minute.  I, for one, am not going to put myself through too much of a stress compactor regarding ‘the decision.’  In the end, if we teach him the importance of  ‘schoolin’, and he is willing to learn, he will get a good education no matter what building we decide to drop him off every Monday through Friday from 8:30 to 3.  The only other certainty of the entire situation is that he undoubtedly will not be happy with our choice.  Katie will undoubtedly benefit from our experience with Matthew so she most likely has a much higher probability of success because we will surely use up all of our mistakes on the boy.

Not even half way through our T-Ball season, we just received word that our boy has made the 5-year-old All Star team.  Yes, I said it.  They have a 5-year-old All Star team.  I am quite conflicted as I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, smile, patronize, or jump for joy.  In reality, all it means is that once the season concludes, we will start practicing again with a new team in order to take part in a minimum of 2 tournaments, one of which will most likely be labeled as a State Tourney.  The mere thought of some 5-year-old T-Ball teams descending on Central Arkansas from various parts of our great state makes me wonder why we haven’t done this up to now.  Why not 4, or even 3 year-olds?  Really the sky is the limit with possibilities.  I certainly can see having a ‘Pre-Walking’ Division for those really fast and gifted crawlers out there.  Everybody gets in their own customized mobile walker thingies, a foam bat and ball and let’s get after it, in something that resembles a cross between bumper cars and those handicapped basketball leagues.  You might laugh, but the sponsorship possibilities are worth their weight in gold.  You know how many logos and stickers we can get on those mobile walker thingies?  A bunch.

How did I get here?

As some of you know, our oldest is waist deep (knee deep doesn’t convey the proper deepness) into T-Ball and despite being one of the younger and smaller ones, he is clearly holding his own and loving every minute of it.  He genuinely loves it and it’s obvious it is going to be a big part of his childhood life, just like his father’s.  Unfortunately that was a long, LONG time ago and in between I have somehow managed to develop some personal ‘issues’ (it rhymes with pontrol but starts with a C) that should prevent me from ever stepping foot on the field in any type of coaching capacity.  There is only one certainty in life when dealing with a group of 5 year old boys, and that is that there is little hope of ‘controlling’ the group.  The most accurate visual representation I can come up with is trying to corral a group of baby kittens for a group photograph.  It just ain’t gonna go well.

So, Matthew was drafted by his old 4 year old coach who saw a little potential in him and picked him WAY too early in the draft, which led to our team being loaded with nothing but 5 year old’s (in a 5 and 6 year old league).  I don’t know that I can put in to words how big a difference that is, but try to envision the maturity difference in a poodle puppy and one of those Siberian huskies that pull the sleds in the Iditarod.  Nonetheless we have battled with the best of them and have vastly improved over the course of the first 5 games or so.  The real story here is how I came to be in charge of this controlled kaos.    His coach sent out a couple of messages to the parents asking for a 2nd assistant as it really takes 3 good coaches to be able to effectively lead a group of young men of this age into the depths of a grueling T-Ball schedule.  By the 2nd practice, it was clear that this 3 person was not going to step up therefore I felt called (obligated) to give this guy a little bit of a boost in his staff.  Even though my Spring is pretty full already, I embarked on an assistant’s role that in my mind, would not be too time consuming…or so I thought.  As our first game was rapidly approaching, Coach sprang the news on me that he had an 8 day ‘work cruise’ that had been scheduled for quite some time and there was nothing he could do about it (not that there would be any reason that he would WANT to get out of it either.)  So here we are, smack dab in the middle of ‘the week’, in which as luck would (not) have it, previous rain-outs have pushed even MORE games into my own little fantasy sports week that includes 4 T-Ball games, 2 softball games, one practice and our last soccer game which barely even deserves a mention now that America’s pastime has taken over.  The cute little warm up sport is just a mere ‘foot’ note in his rear view mirror and in case any more evidence is needed, just compare the stands in a baseball game vs. a soccer game.  While one resembles an insane asylum, the other is closer to a morgue and while one would never want to be in the asylum, it sure beats the alternative.  In the end, I find myself completely in charge of a group that I had no intentions of getting involved with, but sometimes life throws you a curve…and then a splitter…and then a slider…and then a cutter….you get the picture.

Now to the action – Matthew has given us a moment that has rarely (if ever) occurred in all the years of organized T-Ball.  He did something that I didn’t even have the guts to do much when I was a teenager.  He was on first when the ball was hit to shortstop.  We were playing one of the best defensive teams in the league – the dreaded Yankees – who are well coached and know what to do with the ball when it is hit to them.  The shortstop scooped up the ball and attempted to beat Matthew to 2nd base for the force out.  The race was on and it was clear that our little guy was going to lose by at least a step and there wasn’t anything any of us could do.  About 5 feet from the bag, Matthew decides he’s not going to make it so he immediately goes into a head first leap through the air landing basically face first right on 2nd base making it by a whisker.  This slide was reminiscent of the great Charlie Hustle (Pete Rose for all you non baseball folks) back in the 1978 all-star game going horizontal in to 3rd as if his life dependent on it.  The entire crowd gasped and then exploded with joy and amazement, unsure that they had actually witnessed such an event in a league where you are just happy that everybody is just facing the right direction when the ball is hit.  I began to think “How much would I pay for that image of him in the air to be captured on camera?  $500?  $1,000?  Absolutely….maybe more.  I asked the umpire who was well advanced in years if he had ever seen that in this league and his simple answer was “Never.”

I hate to spend this much time on the boy with no mention of his little sister, but her time is coming.  Katie – daddy loves you very much and can’t wait to see you do anything that you want to do.  Speaking of that, her first dance recital is coming up and while I think it is a complete financial racket to parade 3 years up on the stage, we will still be there front and center to see our little girl conduct herself in a performance that will no doubt be for the ages.  I just hope we are able to procure a good seat with all the talent scouts and college recruiters in the house.

 

Easter 2012

Now that Easter has come and gone, we can officially welcome the year of our Lord 2012. I have always thought that the year doesn’t begin until you hit your first real holiday and without question, that holiday is the aforementioned Easter. Everything up to this point has been what is known as “pretend holidays” and I refuse to acknowledge or condone any or all of them. Valentines, MLK, Presidents and St. Patty’s day are somewhat pathetic excuses for anything resembling a holiday and I am certainly glad that the true holiday season has finally begun with a bang.
Matthew had a typical start to his Easter Saturday as we found ourselves at an early morning Soccer beatdown where his stacked team took out their frustrations on yet another unsuspecting group of 5 year olds. Those poor little rug rats never saw the onslaught of constant scoring at will coming as they seemed somewhat optimistic before the game, and somewhat emotionally dejected by halftime. They all got over it pretty quickly though as their were enough push pops and suckers to go around. Then we immediately high tailed it over to the T-ball field for some much needed practice for a team that occasionally looks like they should have been sponsored by Chico’s Bail Bonds. They are getting better, but I’m afraid we are going to take our lumps this year as they appear to be a little out of their league. We will see though….greater things have happened.
After those two warm up events occurred, we trekked over to the local high school football field (all 3 of these fields are in the same complex, thank God!) to participate in something that I can honestly say that I have never seen or even heard of. A local church sponsored this get-together of epic proportions in which a helicopter flew over the football field and proceeded to drop some ten thousand Easter eggs on to the ground in which were amazingly all picked up by roughly 500 ankle biters in a matter of 2 minutes or less. (Of course, I am guesstimating all these numbers, but just go with me here…) It was truly a sight to behold as that field was picked clean in record time and just like that, the event that clearly took months to plan, was over in a flash. I’ll will give them credit for the idea, but at the same time, I will also condemn then for blatantly copying a hit TV show in which they had the crowd chanting “Drop those eggs, drop those eggs.”
The following day, we had a little get together at our humble abode to celebrate our Risen Lord by hunting another 100 or so of these ridiculous little plastic eggs and pretending that some sort of mythical rabbit had amazingly placed them in and around our back yard. Traditions involving imaginary bunnies never get old.
Couple of quick hitters: Matthew was about to leave for his school Easter party when I asked him “Which basket do you want to take…this very plain Jane one here, or that cool Spider-Man one over there?” He very calmly thought about it for several seconds, rubbing his chin as he likes to do when he is in deep concentration and retorted “Dad – which one holds the most?” A boy after my own heart. It’s all about efficiency and effectiveness. Strong.
I had a sleeve of golf balls laying on the table and I very clearly told Katie “DO NOT mess with my golf balls, please.” I came back home later that night and found that there was only one ball left in the sleeve of 3. I calmly asked her what had transpired with my Pro V1s and she plainly explained what had happened this way: “well….the box opened up all on it’s own and your golf balls rolled out the door, on to the driveway and down the street and they are gone.” Ok….thanks Katie. ‘Preciate the update. FYI – I found the balls 5 minutes later in the living room.
New Matthew phrases: “You can count me in!”, “Full speed ahead”, and “Dad, I need a bonus for working hard!!” This boy is as quotable as a quote machine. (sorry about that…I had to channel my own father who seems to enjoy using that type of phraseology to describe people, places or things.)
Another successful Easter is in the books and I am certainly glad we have finally gotten 2012 started in dramatic fashion, no less. Arbor Day, here we come.

The great Easter Egg drop from the sky!

Matthew in the starting blocks, ready for the gun to go off

Matthew and Katie inventorying their take

Katie showing off some sort of Easter gift that she seems to be fond of.

Matthew feeling a little too frisky with his Easter haul

M & K on the hunt.

with a little help from Cousin Scott, Easter was a monster hit.

Green

The word ‘Green’ has become so ‘cool’ in the last few years.  When given the choice to be involved in anything that is ‘eco-friendly’ vs. ‘non eco-friendly’, everyone is easily well on board with the green movement and its processes.  It’s hip, it’s in and it’s reusable.  But this time of year, the green dream has a different connotation for me all together.  Just the mere mention of the color makes me break out in tears…literally.  The green in which I speak of is this thin layer that covers the earth (or at least our neck of the earth) and turns every day average people’s lives upside down and drives them to the brink of insanity.  The frustration level that comes from the devil’s dust, aka pollen, has reached a boiling point here in our great state, and if it were not for the gulley washer we received a few days ago, I am certain we would have seen a mass exodus in order just to survive the next few horrendous weeks.  Conversely, I have never loved the color of yellow any more than I do currently.  You see…that is the color that the pollen turns as it is mixed with water, and there is not a better site on the planet than to see this God forsaken stuff being washed down the side of the road and headed for the nearby creeks and drainage pipes, never to torture us again.

Yes, I know, I know….it’s all part of the plan.  Pollen is a key ingredient in the reproductive system of plants, flowers, shrubs, trees, bushes and most importantly weeds.  Without it, we would remain brown and things just wouldn’t function in a way that they are supposed to, but really….is that a good enough reason for us not to complain about it?  Doctors, Lawyers and Banks are also major cogs in the way our modern society works, but if we took away the right to piss and moan about such things, many people just wouldn’t have any reason to get out of bed in the morning, much less utter a single word.  Lawyers themselves account for 38.6% of all bitching done in the U.S. alone.  Ok, I made that up, but if I hadn’t admitted to it, I am fairly certain I could have gotten away with it.  The number has to be right in the ball park there.  The stuff just makes our little homestead such a miserable place to try and live.  We are blessed (?) with many trees, lots of grass and thanks to our large efforts to keep the gardening economy thriving and growing, tons of flowers and plants.  Therefore, everything that we have, we own, we borrow or we rent ends up this light shade of green at the end of the day.  Naturally, when the kids put there hands anywhere, that stuff is transferred to their face, to the house, or directly to my eyes.  There are many people that have it much worse than I when it comes to this stuff, but my affliction is just bad enough to get me good and annoyed on any given Spring day.  I am growing more and more wear of this season and I never thought I would say it but….”Is it summer yet?”

Surely when God had James write “Be patient and do not complain” in his 5th chapter, he could NOT have been referring to this stuff.  Otherwise, I think he would have included the words ‘about pollen’, in there somewhere.  And the mere fact that he waited all the way until Chapter 5 to say anything about it signifies that there has to be some element of flexibility here.  I mean…if he had led with it then it would have been a clear cut indication that he’s pretty serious about it….but chapter 5?  I think he’s already getting into the part about ‘Do not scalp your tickets, nor copy your software’ by that point.

Since we don’t have a lot of choice in the matter, we must forge ahead, coughing, sneezing, wheezing and tearing up until the proverbial cows come home.  My fear is that we live in a state in which the cows take their sweet ass time regarding their homeward bound trek.  Fortunately it’s all a system of checks and balances.  This is the price we pay for living in a climate in which winter is just a month long journey to the sweater drawer and the days in which an actual legitimate coat comes out are few and far between.   So if you are a regular to this little internet forum, I must warn you, each year about this time, you can expect the same dosage of this whining and complaining, for as sure as my lawn mower will turn green, so to will my attitude turn sour and I feel like it is my responsibility to share these emotions with the people that I so truly love.  No return favor is necessary….your welcome.

I made it

This post is a little past due but such a monumental event in one’s life should not go unrecognized, no matter how delayed the subsequent blog post was.  I successfully maneuvered through the dark chasms of a one parent home for 5 very long days.  Believe me, it’s truly an intimidating moment when you look around your own home and you find yourself outnumbered by the opposition.  Yes, I am aware we are all on the same team but taking care of these two generally feels more like a tug of war than a collaborative team effort…and in case you were wondering, yes, I am the one who ends up in the giant mud hole in the center of the pit.  But I must admit that it wasn’t quite as bad as I made it out to be.  They were fairly well behaved and I am thankful beyond belief that they decided to pull back the reigns a little and give pops a fighting chance.  Sonya returned and the Earth is now allowed to resume its spherical rotation and weather patterns.

Just when we had settled back in to our somewhat normal routine – BAM…we decide to embark on our first overnight camping trip to Petit Jean Mountain State Park.  This was the first time either of the two have slept in a tent and boy was it obvious.  We went with another very experienced couple and their two kids of similar ages and even though the 4 little ones spent most of their time chasing each other around the campsite and wearing each other out, it did NOT translate to an early bed time, nor a good night’s sleep….for anyone involved.  I felt like the tent, the air mattress, the kids, the blankets and the pillows were on one side, and my back and overall physical well-being was on the other, and believe me when I tell you this…it was a beat-down of epic proportions.   This trip did have some pretty cool moments though like the climbing and hiking through the unbelievably scenic trails of that wonderful park that is only an hour away from Central Arkansas.  We really have to make it up there more often….just need to leave that God forsaken tent behind.  Both kids were very willing to do everything that we had in store and I was continually amazed how they conquered their fears and went into places that looked as if it could easily be housing some sort of wild creatures…or in their vernacular – monsters.

Lastly, but not leastly, it must be mentioned that we chalked up our first T-Ball victory tonight.  The way the season was shaping up, I wasn’t really certain that this day would come, but the boys came through in fine fashion and I was a proud papa of 10 boys that seem to genuinely be having a good time.  Although it still looks like it might be shaping up as a very long season, for one shining moment we can walk away from the park with our heads up and our chest out proclaiming victory and an overall sensation that we have literally just conquered the world…of course at least until snack time.  Then all will be forgotten.

Would you believe that this was 50 feet up? Ok..only 8.

Trust me....this wasn't as scary as it looks...

Ah...the princess at her best. What a calm child. Right.

Not sure where these coy little poses are coming from. Kinda girly.

I was just telling Katie what a great hiker I am. She was unimpressed.

Most of the team. At least the ones that were willing to be photographed.

Is this: A) equipment for a Mt. Everest climb, B) A family member moving out, or C) the stuff we need to get through ONE FREAKING NIGHT at a campground!!!!

Status report

54 hours (but who’s counting?) in to the “Daddy G” experiment, and I am proud to report that there have been no tantrums or fits…..by me. Sonya is living the high life in the not so great Midwest while I am digging my heels in deep down in the trenches of family man land. It’s very interesting how I react to certain situations. When it is 100% clear that everything falls on my shoulders, I am able to reach new heights of calmness and effectiveness. It’s like you tell yourself, “Well, you have no one to fall back on now, so you might as well not waste any energy trying to weasel out of any responsibilities, so quit you’re whining and just do it.” I don’t believe this phenomenon is unique to me as it probably resides inside most of us, because when you are really put to the test, you tend to put your best foot forward. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you always succeed…it just means that you have left it all on the table with regard to effort and determination. Failing is still an option, but at least you can sleep at night and not second guess yourself on any decisions you have made along the way. Ok…I may have gone a little off the melodramatic deep end here, but work with me a little….I was feeling it.

Yesterday was especially taxing. Get them ready for 8 a.m. school, attend all day meetings, pickup from the babysitters, change quickly for dance class, grab a quick bite afterwards, head to the ball park for a little T-Ball practice (in which I have been promoted to assistant coach…yay), head to the house for a couple of quickie baths and beddy-by-boo time. If only it were that simple. To anybody who does it day in and day out…to say that I am impressed would not do the sentiment justice. It truly is an art…or a suicide mission….one or the other. Of course, age has to come in to play here as well (both theirs and mine.) 5 (boy) and 3 (girl) are about as hard as it gets. Anything older and they can fend for themselves and anything younger, they both wouldn’t be involved in such activities. And of course, no matter what ages the little ones might happen to be, nothing is easy anymore now that Mr. Age has a 4 for his prefix. I know, I know…I have no one to blame but myself for such life timing debacles, but of course, I will be happy to use the argument that I was too much like a child for my first 35 years of life to actually have some of my own. Believe me, it’s best for all parties involved that things worked out the way they did. My kids would possess many more childish, infantile and immature habits had they known me a few years previous. In my old age, I have at least learned that it’s good to hide such behavior rather than to sport your wares in front of the kids as to pass these habits down for future generations to enjoy and loathe.

Some credit must go to the kids themselves. They have been especially well behaved the last couple of days….as if to say, “I know we beat down dear old Dad basically every day of the year, but it’s clear he’s in over his head with this assignment so let’s cut him a little slack here.” Even Katie hasn’t been too much of a bear in the clothing department. For those of you that don’t know, when Katie gets dressed, it’s not a task, it’s an event. It’s a happening. It’s accessorizing, it’s matching, and it’s…..a royal pain in the ass. I have to employ every trick in the book to help her pick out something that at least is in the right season of the year. Those tank tops in January weren’t received as well as I had hoped they would have been. So, between the top, the skirt, the pants, the socks, the undies, the shoes and the accessory decisions, I am just about spent before we have even made it to the kitchen. Conversely, you could grab 3 kitchen rags and rap them around Matthew’s body and he would barely even notice so to say there is a slight difference in the style habits of boys and girls would be kin to saying that the Grand Canyon and lower Manhattan may have a few variances in landscape and culture. Having one child of each sex just adds to the complexities and the kaos that is the daily grind. I’ve said it many, many times. Easily the best word to describe kids: Relentless. Relentless.

Tomorrow shouldn’t be too bad. 9 a.m. soccer game (so the prep work has to start fairly early), but then we get a nice little break to kick back at the local playground or something, before an afternoon T-Ball practice. The funny thing is that Sonya texted me and asked if I had anything planned for the kids. Yeah, I have a plan. To make it out alive.

So, with any luck, I will have an equally positive report to file come late Monday night after we get back from a 10 p.m. airport run (which I am already dreading beyond comprehension…because it’s not like I can leave them back at the house to hold down the fort by themselves. Can’t I get locked up for that? Just wondering…)

The Beginning of the End?

This past week brought about a clear sign of the apocalypse and I’m pretty sure I don’t know how to handle such serious issues. A bomb was clearly dropped on my unsuspecting ears that rattled me to the point that I had to take a knee and really process what I had heard. I even pinched myself to make sure it was real and not some sort of recurring nightmare, equivalent to the one in which I am running down a crowded Little Rock street wearing nothing but an LSU Tiger speedo and shouting at the top of my lungs “Les Miles For President” and singing bayou classics. Ok…it’s not quite that bad…but then again, what is?
My boy and I were heading outside for a little ball playing in the back yard, when we went to grab the leather and the bat and that’s when I heard it. “Dad – I think I want to play soccer instead.” “WHAT?” “Yeah…I think so. let’s kick the ball.” Now, my ‘hate affair’ with the game of soccer has been well documented and really doesn’t need to be rehashed, but I must mention a few of it’s more embarrassing attributes. It’s a sport that includes refs with color coded flashcards in their pocket and are just dying to use their authority by flashing one of these index cards in the face of one of their many hooligans that participate in these ridiculous events. It’s a sport that has fans that have so little going for them, they often decide to rumble with each other to the point that death is a real possibility. It’s a sport that for some unknown reason, has this mystery ‘extra time’ tacked on at the end of the game in which the status of the clock is only known but some squirrely little official with a Casio on his wrist. Surely you get my drift. It’s a nice starter sport, until you are eligible to go on to bigger and better things….kinda like playing Atari. It had it’s place but eventually we must move on and never look back.
Nonetheless, I would do anything for my kids so I gritted my teeth and said “Sure son, no problem. I can’t wait to kick the ol’ ball around. Let’s play two!” All the while, I felt the lifeblood being sucked right out of me, as if all my hopes and dreams had suddenly been stomped on by that Jolly Green Giant dude. (What exactly did that guy have to do with eating peas, anyway?) Who knows where this is going to lead. All I know is that if this is what I have to put up with for the remainder of his childhood, I will do it with a smile on my face and an encouraging word from my lips. The good news is that I know so little about the game, I won’t know when he, or any of his teammates mess up. But then again, what is there to know really…kick the ball in the freakin’ net. (btw, the boy scored 4 goals in his debut this season so his early success might have something to do with his heightened interest in this remedial sport.)
Earlier today, I had the privilege of doing something that I will remember for quite some time. I signed up to read to Matthew’s and Katie’s preschool class and I loved every minute of it. I took two books and spent about 30 minutes with 20 Three to Six year old’s and it was something I can’t wait to do again. Don’t get me wrong….I think 30 minutes was about my limit. It’s not like I am turning in my badge at work and enrolling in to the preschool teacher academy, but I must admit that it was an experience I will soon not forget. They hung on my every word and were very interested in every thing I had to say (finally a crowd that actually GETS me!) I even got 10 hugs from the kids (15 declined the embrace, but I am trying to look at the positive here) so I am fairly certain they enjoyed it as much as I did. Matthew was both excited and embarrassed at the same time, but all in all, I think he enjoyed it as well. God bless those teachers. I have no idea how they do it.
Lastly, please pray for me. Sonya will soon be leaving for Nebraska for about 5 days…..alone. Let me repeat that. Sonya will be gone for 5 days!!!! Did you ever have that feeling that the oncoming train is bearing down on you and there is nothing you can do, and nowhere to hide? I plan on just repeating the most popular bible phrase over and over again….fear not….fear not. Kids are like alligators…they are much more scared of you, then you are of them, but man, are those teeth sharp! Gloria Gaynor said it best…I will survive, I will survive. Hey, hey.

I promised

I promised photographic evidence of my doubly blessed life, so here ya go.  Couple of quick hitters first:

Matthew saw a commercial for one of those motorized scooters for the elderly and was very convincing in his argument that he needed one.  He told his mother that he really needed it.  She said “Those are just for older people that are having trouble moving around.”  He retorted with “Well….it said if you have fallen in the last 12 months, you may need it…and I have DEFINITELY fallen recently!”

If anyone sees Katie wearing a pink shirt, with green pants underneath it, along with an orange top, red sweater, purple socks and pink shoes, please just keep moving and try not to stare.  She refuses to let anybody pick out her clothes and if you try, be prepared for a meltdown that of epic proportions.

They always get along this well.

He made dinner one night - see if you can guess ALL the ingredients

• 
• with 10 kids within 5 inches of the cake, I’m sure no germs were transferred.

Haley, Megan and Katie at the Baseball Park

I might have done this one already, but it's worth a second look. One tough dude.

The Draft

What do you call a dozen middle age men locked in a room with nothing on their minds but 5 and 6 year old boys?  Sherwood, Arkansas T-Ball draft night baby!  It’s that time again for the boys of summer to report to camp and knock out the cobwebs that have been circling around the brain disguised as Wii games, coloring books and army men.  The time has come to dust off the Louisville Slugger (do they even make wooden bats anymore?) and hit the diamond with all the other 90+ hopefuls spread across 9 teams.  I am once again reminded how awesome this little state of ours is….sports in February?  Ya darn right…and the REALLY good news is that it ain’t soccer. (well…technically he is playing that too, but there is no need to muttle up my little story with actual facts.)

As far as I can tell, there are two communities in the greater Little Rock area that are serious about their baseball…the Bryant/Benton faction south of the river, and the Sherwood sect on the north side.  Of course there are more good teams out there, but these two come from fairly small pools of talent therefore they must try a little harder than those that have the big names and the large populations.  I really don’t know if this is a good thing or not, but we fall in the Sherwood district so we will be going toe to toe with the big dogs in a T-ball league that pretty much defies logic.  Of course, I refuse to be one of ‘those parents’….you know what I am getting at here…the guys and gals that actually don’t seem happy unless they are barking at so called love ones, the coach, the umpires or the opposite sides fans.  If you haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing this first hand, I highly recommend you take in a Saturday afternoon at the ol’ ball park for some 5 and 6 year old festivities.  You will not be disappointed.  For all the joy that you get out of watching these kids play this game, you will get an equal amount of disgust from the would-be ‘responsible adults’ that are amazingly in charge of said children.

With all that said, I am no better than the next, I’m sure.  I am so pumped up that you would think that the 7th game of the world series was about to be contested at the local neighborhood ballpark and my boy was going to be center stage.  I got word tonight from his fall ball coach that he was beat to the punch when it came to drafting young New.  Apparently he was one of the first 5 year olds drafted (they pick the 6 years old first and for good reason…I couldn’t believe the difference that one year makes) and if had lasted just one more pick, he would have gotten nabbed up by one of the better coaches….and before you say it, let me jump in:  Yes, coaching does actually matter when it comes to this tender age.  You have to have just the right combination of encouragement, motivation and skill set to excel in the highly sophisticated game of T-Ball.  Just any ol’ Johnny Come Lately will get eaten alive amongst these sharks in the water and while you think you have the gumption to give it a go, tread lightly.  It’s not for the kind at heart.

I will also choose to not participate in this storied tradition of T-Ball coaching, continuing to work on my well publicized control issues and overall ‘up tightness’.   I will partake this pleasure from the cheap seats with camera phone in hand, waiting for that one shining moment that brings the crowd of….maybe 30…..to their feet.  Oh baseball season….how I love thee.   See y’all at the concession stand.

Catch up

I’m pretty sure that every post I make for the rest of my life could also be named ‘Catch Up’ so maybe I need to start attaching some sort of sequencing….like an episode heading, or version number….to all of my posts that are meant to get me back on schedule but never seem to do so.  I recall reading an article during the ‘Great Recession’ a couple of years ago in which people were cutting back on spending and declaring that this “is the new me” and even when the economy returns to normal levels, their spending habits won’t revert back to their old ways.  Let’s ignore the fact that this is complete bologna and focus on the sentiment itself.  I do agree that this is ‘the new me’ with regard to the ol’ blog.  Unless I prematurely retire or my kids decide to take a year long European vacation, I don’t see going back to the steady contributor to the blog community, so with that said, I will have to focus on quality instead of quantity.  Hope I don’t disappoint.

Katie seems to be settling in to her new role of ‘big girl school attendee’ quite nicely.  I was extremely worried with the early starting time because to call her a morning person would be to call Saddam Hussein a ‘people pleaser.’  And true to form, it is shaping up just as we had suspected it would.  The Montisorri school climate and learning style certainly suits her more than it does him.  It’s not that he isn’t thriving, because he certainly is (knows most of the states and is making some serious reading advancements), it’s just more of an attitude toward school itself.  He doesn’t like going at all and she doesn’t like going…slightly less.  All of our early morning fussing could be solved if either of them had any concept of time.  Telling them that 3 1/2 hours is an extremely short time frame and you will be home before you know it, is like telling my dog that I promise to play fetch after I return home from work.  Their little brains just don’t function when it comes to future events; the only thing that matters is what is happening in the next 30 seconds…and that is stretching it as well.   But all in all, going to the same school and sitting in the same class as brother and sister has been comforting for both.  She can have the security blanket of big brudder being close and he can get the ego boost that comes with being the guardian of our little princess.  We are very proud of both of them.

Sonya and I had another solid Valentine’s day and with my overall lack of the romantic gene and relationship skills, that is quite the accomplishment.  Almost 7 years in and I am finally starting to understand a few things.  I did a little planning (which I could stop the sentence right there and garner some improvement points) and arranged for the babysitter so we could do some fine dining at arguably the best restaurant in the state – Brave New Restaurant.  Everything about this place is solid as a rock right down to the detail of the owner swinging by every table and getting some personal opinions on his fine establishment and the cuisine itself.  As much as I can’t stand the pretentious, superficial scene, this place doesn’t give off that vibe as the people, although very high society, are still extremely friendly and not in that phony, I’m better than you, sort of way.   You throw in a chick flick and you’ve got a great evening with some great company.

More to get to, but it’s 4:30 am and I better grab an hour or two before it all starts over again.  It’s pretty standard….when I fall asleep early (8:30 or 9), I can count on having a middle of the night stint that has my brain cranking at levels that sleep is not an option.  No worries though…just 15 minutes of Leviticus or Deuteronomy and I’m out like a light!  Check back though…the sequel to ‘catch up’ will include some photographic evidence of my doubly blessed life.

Tis the season

Many, many things are getting me down these days and they have one thing in common….I am not mature enough to deal with any of them, much less all of them added together and coming down the line at the same time.  No need to bore you with details at this point, but suffice it to say that I have a few less hairs at the end of the week then when I started on Monday morning.  Maybe it has something to do with turning 40, or just maybe I need buckle down, quit my bitching and return to that lovable oaf that everybody seems to be so fond of.  The jury is still out on who I will become…I can’t wait to find out.

Speaking of Monday morning, it marked a big event within our humble little household…Katie’s first day at big girl school.  Now the term ‘big girl school’ is being used fairly loosely here because she is starting the same Montessori school that her brother goes to, which is a 3-6 year old Kindergarten style class.  It is only half days, but the key here is what half we are talking about.  By no stretch of the imagination, would Katie ever be considered a morning person, so you can imagine my horror when I thought of her actually making it to school at 8 a.m., 5 days a week.  I thought to myself…ain’t gonna happen.  She is too stubborn and too hard headed ever to get up and ready that early.  1st day came and went like clockwork but unfortunately we weren’t allowed to stop there.  She had to return for the 2nd which is where the real fun started.  You see, Katie MUST pick out her own clothes.  We are allowed to provide input and opinions, but in the end, it is her decision and we must respect it.  If she has her heart set on a tank top in the dead of winter, then that is what it shall be…..we have to just deal with it and pray she is accepting of a fairly heavy coat.  On this day, after it was all said and done, she had tried on 3 tops, 2 pair of pants, a cheerleader outfit and given heavy consideration to any one of her newly acquired princess dresses, all of which is closer to a Halloween costume that actual attire.  As you can imagine, we were running slightly late.  Then naturally, with all this fussing going on, Matthew has to get in on the act and he proceeds to take it to a new level.  It was almost as if he said “step aside, young sister, and let the big boy show you how it’s done.”  And step aside, she did….when he started in, she got real quiet, as if in amazement that her big brother could behave in such a way.  I don’t know if she was taking mental notes or just admiring his handiwork, because it was indeed a thing of beauty.  However, I was not to be deterred…I would have taken them both in their underwear, kicking and screaming the entire way if that is what it came down to…they were going to school and there was nothing that could stop it.  You can’t reward that type of behavior…if it doesn’t work for me, then it doesn’t work for anybody.  At the end of the day, all was fine and low and behold, a great half day of school had yet again miraculously occurred.  Shocking, I know.   I am happy to report that both are doing well and learning all kinds of nuggets of wisdom that will undoubtedly carry them through all walks of life….or at least 1st grade.

January has begun and yet again, another chapter in what is known as “Busy Season” (aka “Rush”, aka “The Sale”, aka “Pure Hell.”  I’ve personally knocked on wood every day within this new calender year because for some reason, things are running fairly smoothly and if this continues, I might not have as much to whine and complain about in the coming months, which would be a tragedy in it’s own regard.  I think it’s because I have gotten so darn good at whining about stuff that I figure it was be a such a shame to bottle me up with no outlet to vent frustrations with what 95% of the world’s population would probably describe as a utopian life.  I could literally blog an entire list of blessings that have been bestowed upon me, yet I continue to harp on the challenges that most people would love to encounter.  Nonetheless, I forge ahead with my gift of making things out to be much worse than they actually are.  I have found several antidotes to such feelings of despair and self pity and I have presented a small sampling of them below.  Great pictures can certainly turn that frown upside down, so without further ado, I give you a little smorgasbord of pictorial evidence of my AMAZING life!  God is great…no matter how ordinary I am.

Sorry babe..had to do it. This picture is THAT good.

 

The boy with one of his favorite gifts. Finally...I can get some blowing done without him ambushing MY machine!

Her favorite ride at SDC. She couldn't get enough of the ladybugs.

Clearly the most excited person to be on the train is the conductor himself....

Matthew and some of his school buddies had a little cookie making event......

...and here is his handiwork. No sugar high here or anything....

Katie was more interested in being seen at the putt putt place than actually playing putt putt. I think it's a chick thing.

They were actually waiting on Daddy to get on the swinging swings...a daredevil of a ride...one in which I regret.

It was toward the end of the trip...he was a little picture weary.

How could this angel ever misbehave? Oh let me count the ways......

Don't focus on the vampire eyes, just check out the one foot in front of the other pose. It comes natural. Princesses are born, not made.

December 25th

Yes, it is officially December 26th as I write this, but the significance of the previous day has to carry enough weight to earn top billing with regards to the title of this post.  I realize it’s been basically forever since my last post and I have an incredibly good reason for it:  life.  Oh..you don’t except that as a legitimate answer?  tough…get over it and keep reading.  I actually sat down about a month ago and crafted out this incredibly descriptive post about the kids’ birthdays and our November vacations to both Nebraska and Branson, only to have it all wiped away with a fateful click of the button.  Most people roll with mishaps like this with a very ‘oh well’ type attitude.  I am not one of these people.  That misstep haunted me for a week and was an extremely hard pill to swallow.  I don’t make those type of mistakes.  I reserve my mistakes to various other categories…just not hitting the wrong button at the wrong time.

However, I will try to provide a brief summary to my November thought pattern…just so I can say that I have somewhat of a written record of the monthly proceedings.  We decided to make the yearly trip to Nebraska during the Thanksgiving season instead of jamming it in to the Christmas/New Year’s holiday schedule.  This made sense on many levels, most of which revolved around the weather.  It seems like a fairly trivial thing, but I can assure you that the month head start makes all the difference in the world.  Not only do you have the obvious benefits to warmer weather, but you have so many other branches off the ‘sane’ tree that spring out in growth….namely my mood.  This ‘mood’ also has a trickle down effect to basically everything and everybody that I come into contact with.  It is no secret that I have a love/hate relationship with the entire state.  It loves me and my vacation dollars, I hate it and it’s winter weather, it’s boring landscape and it’s propensity to wash away valuable roads with any rain that surpasses an inch or two due to the lack of things that we Arkansans like to refer to as ‘hills’.  Yes, I like to exaggerate, (hello…have you ever met me?) but we have had our issues inside this state’s borders during the month of December.  Not this year baby!

Anyway….the trip was actually very pleasant and the time spent with Sonya’s family was extremely enjoyable.  The family as a whole has had its share of additions which added to the dynamic and made things more ‘interesting.’  I guess we need a few years to really get to know each other before we are able to get underneath each other’s skin.  All good things come in time.  Nonetheless, it was a solid 4 days spent in our great country’s midwest…but it was even better to see that Arkansas sign in the windshield on the way back.

The Branson vacation was solid as always.  Now that the kids are a little older, we are actually able to do some things as a family.  We spent two days at Silver Dollar City and saw some things that we didn’t even know existed.  At the top of the list were 2 separate caves, one inside the City and one about 10 miles away.  While both tested my fears and my ridiculous thoughts of the kids tumbling over the rails, both were incredibly cool, unique and facinating….all at the same time.  There is something surreal about venturing hundreds of feet below ground level without much fear of becoming trapped down there for all of eternity.  While I loved everything about these things, I do have to say that Sonya had quite the advantage on me in this particular area.  Her Five foot frame came in major handy.  We hit some shows, saw the sites and spent a week away from work…which is always a good thing.  My ability to vacation has improved through the last few years and with any luck, I might eventually become the guy that not only plans the family getaway, but also the one who looks forward to it.

 

That brings us to the most recent of the holiday season…the granddaddy of them all – Christmas.  While the kid’s attitudes have been suspect, they have had a season to remember and we aren’t anywhere close to being done.  My sister and brother-in-law came down again (from another one of my least favorite states – Kansas) and are staying with us…which is always a blessing.  But easily our biggest blessing of the season was our ability to help a young family in need.  It’s a long story and one that would need its own post, but the short of it is that we had God drop a young man into our lives that was in desperate need of some material items.  We were able to help and when I got my church buddies involved in the process, the project went to an entirely different level.  The blessings and contributions keep on a coming from these guys and both the young man and myself couldn’t be happier about it.  Who knows where this saga will go, but it has allowed all of us involved to see the true spirit of Christmas blossom in all of our lives.  Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.  Literally…it’s 1 a.m….go to bed.

A New Season

There is no DOUBT in my mind that this was by far my longest hiatus from the good ol’ blog.   It seems as though I have lived an entire lifetime since last posting, but in reality it’s only been a few months.  What have I missed?  Quite a bit.

The kids turned 5 and 3 in early September (it’s amazing how they always seem to get a year older at about the same time every year) and I really thought I was in the clear.  No more “2 and under’s” in the household.  I felt like a light would come down from the heavens and shine on this household because we now only contained mature and responsible kids (parents too of course) and any terrible two behavioral problems would be a thing of the past.  Clear sailing from this point forward…no looking back…it’s all downhill from here…the worst is behind us….and so on and so forth.  May I be the first to say “What was I thinking?????”

Now, I might be exaggerating a little, but some days it seems as though Katie is just getting warmed up.  The girl has attitude for days and she is really learning how to use her unlimited amount of charm and cuteness to her benefit.  She is unbelievably talented as playing the pity card when she falls down or bangs her head on the wall.  She is amazing though…the girl has a brain on her, that’s for sure.  Her memory seems to rival mine and she picks up on things so quickly.  Maybe there is some hope to land a bookworm in the family after all.

Matthew is deep into his fall T-Ball schedule, and when I say deep, I mean DEEP.  The boy loves every inch of it.  One of the more interesting aspects of it is when he is not involved in the action…he is deeply connected to the game and watches it intently.  He loves to root for his teammates and while he still has the attention span of a 5-year-old, he is certainly more focused during this time than other areas of his life.  He has been going to a new school for the last couple of months and while I don’t think he is too crazy about having to do quite a bit of work, it is certainly paying off.  His writing and reading skills have improved and he is showing more interest largely in part to him having more success…and he is having more success because of some better teaching methods employed by the school.  We have been so impressed that we are considering getting Katie in to the Montessori school as well, because the learning style at this particular type of school fits her to a T.  The main reason why she couldn’t have gone in September was because she was not potty trained…but fear not….she has made some great strides toward bathroom freedom in the past few weeks and we think she is just about ready.  Thank God, Thank God, Thank God!

My busy season at work is over (another one of the many reasons why I haven’t contributed to the written word in so long) and every time I go through one of those things, I wonder how many more I can take.  They are a mental and physical grind and the toll is starting to outweigh the benefits.  One of many things I will be reflecting on as I go on my second men’s retreat soon.   As much as I hate to leave the family, I really could use another spiritual recharging of the ol’ batteries.   They seem to go dead a little faster as I get older for some crazy reason.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the kids birthday party.  The bright side of the days being close together is that you can do a combined party….which coincidentally is also the downside as well.  Twice the kids, yet only the same amount of parents.  Not exactly a winning equation, if you know what I mean.  I bet there were at least 25 little ones that attended the festivities at the Funland at Burns Park.  It was a perfect weekend and perfect weather so they came out in droves but I have to say that Sonya picked the perfect location as well.  Lots of room to roam and no shortage of rides to jump on.  It’s never too crowded and while exhausting, it went off without too many hitches…which is all you can ever hope for, really.

Hate to disappoint but to be honest, I don’t have the creative juices flowing.  This has been more of a report than a blog, but I promise to do better next time….and I certainly promise to return a little earlier.  If I don’t, I may get shutdown for inactivity…which most certainly would be a devastating blow to the entire blogging community.  Don’t worry…I won’t let you down.

Curiousity killed the parent

Throughout the years, I had always heard stories of youngsters bombarding parents (and adults in general) with questions about everything under the sun, so you can imagine my surprise when Matthew’s first few years came and went without a whole lot of interrogation.  As a good friend of ours who has a child of the same age put it :  “Our son seems like he is all talk, while Matthew seems like he is all action.”  Obviously this type of attitude has as many negatives to it as it does positives, because instead of having to explain the same thing over and over, this way you have to – 1. bail him out of sticky situations, or 2. scold him like there is no tomorrow because he went off and done did what he done did.  Generally speaking, I think it is OK to be this way…if there is one thing I have learned, it is that the best way to learn anything is to learn how not to do it first.  A notion that I am quite comfortable with since it has been somewhat of a life motto.

So, with all that said, I thought I would skate through child number 2 without having to field the countless questions that are common for this age, but Katie has very clearly informed me that “that ain’t the case.”  If the comedic value wasn’t so high, all these questions would not just be annoying, they might even border on the level of driving one (to use a technical term) batty.  I see something and say “How about that”, and naturally she spouts off with “Daddy, why do you say ‘How about that’ ?”  “Because I was interested in what just happened”.  “What just happened?”  “Well…your brother did a good job putting those Lincoln logs together.”  “Daddy – what are Lincoln logs?” “Those are those wooden toys that we use to build pretend houses and other things with.”   “Daddy – who is pretending to be a house?”  “Katie – I gotta go”.  “Daddy – why do you say you gotta go?”

Now this conversation didn’t exactly happen like this, but if I had a tape recorder in my pocket, I am certain that each and every day I could come up with a talk very similar to these particular circumstances.  The girl is relentless in her pursuit of knowledge.  Every day I look at her and I think “Is this little girl going to be upset if I just break out and start laughing every time she hits me with a series of these most curious (and ridiculous) questions?”  I wouldn’t trade any of them for the world…if I am in a good mood, they make my day.  If I am in a bad mood…well…at least I have yet to get into an argument with her about whatever she is asking about, so these questions must have some sort of therapeutical value to them.  I will leave you with one of her favorite sayings lately.  I told her “Katie, we need to change your pants”.  She comes back with a very calm, Ahhhh….Foooeeeees.  (Pronounced Fu-ease).  Priceless.

Couple of other quick things – Sonya walked through the living room where Katie was doing some sort of twirl to one of her favorite songs and she gave her some sort of compliment, so naturally Katie announced “Well, I’m a dancer…you know.”  Yes…a very confident one, at that.

Matthew has gotten really into the monetary world.  He likes to count his piggy bank and is more interested in what things cost.  Well, he has added one more move to his repertoire:  sneaking money out of my wallet.  Now, this is not like a teenager, sneaking cash for booze and smokes….it’s a little more innocent than that…especially since he is so bad at hiding anything.  My wallet will be laying out on the kitchen table with the bills half way hanging out of it.  Then, you walk into his room and you see a 20 spot sitting on his night stand.  Not exactly a master criminal we are dealing with here.  So I give him the ‘taking what doesn’t belong to you’ speech, and the ‘you have to earn it’ lecture…so what does he do?  He dashes into his room and quickly does something that is close to making his bed, but not quite it.  He comes out with this proud look on his face expecting to get some sort of reward.  Boy…you are going to have to do a little better than that…but I love your attitude!

A prime example of Matthew's 'action', this is his bug trap invention - 2 pieces of paper taped together that traps the bugs at night. He thought of it, he built it, but I had to help him install it.

A quick trip to the game room after watching the new Cars movie.

 

Alone

It’s been a strange few days.  My family has been out of the state visiting Sonya’s dad who is having more health complications from his stroke a few years back.  (Get better Bill…can’t wait to see you, buddy)  They are in the very average state of Nebraska (although their weather is beating down ours with a stick right now) and they are returning in the wee hours of the night tonight.  I had completely forgotten what it was like to be by myself.  I knew I was going to miss them while getting some nice, solid quiet time, but what I was really surprised to learn is that I have missed the kaos (yes, I prefer the spelling of that word that invokes memories of the evil organization on the 70′s hit TV show “Get Smart”) that the kids bring to the table each and every minute.  Kaos might be too harsh of a word…maybe we should go with ‘perpetual activity and noise.’  That might be a little more accurate and without all the negative undertones.

These few days have been a good opportunity to catch up on some things and do some others that I just wouldn’t have the time to do otherwise.    This past Sunday was a day that God would have been proud of, as I was able to get up early and do some things around the house BEFORE church, which on a normal Sunday morning would have been unheard of…unless I wanted to get up with the crows and roosters of course…..and that ain’t happening.  Church was great as always as I was able to talk to a few more people who I normally wouldn’t and was able to connect with them a little deeper than normal.  I think one of the best exercises for the soul is to just listen to people and ask them questions about themselves…instead of just waiting for the opportunity in the conversation to talk about yourself.  I have no statistics to back me up but I would guess that about 80% of all words spoken are directed inward instead of outward…people LOVE to talk about themselves.  It’s quite amazing really…if you don’t believe me, just try to strike up a conversation with someone you barely know, ask him a few questions and watch him go.

Anyway……I left our Church and headed out fast to go to another.  A few weeks previous, I had found out that an old Jr. High buddy of mine was preaching at his hometown Church in McAlmont and I was more than a little surprised.  I couldn’t wait for an opportunity to track him down and say hello.  We had spent our Jr. High years together playing for the basketball team and I always had thought pretty highly of him.  So, as I got to his church, it was pretty clear that I was going to be the only white fella on the premises, which really wasn’t all that surprising.  I didn’t have a problem with it…you grow up playing Basketball in Jacksonville, you get pretty comfortable around the brothers.  As I walked in, you would have thought I was Jesus himself as all eyes were on this tall, pale, goofy looking white dude coming in the door.  “May I help you” was uttered pretty quickly and I asked where I could find the good Reverend.  They pointed me to the Sanctuary and as I strolled down the aisle, things got amazingly still.  About 10 people were hanging around the front of the church after the service and all eyes were directed right at me and it was so quiet, you could have heard the proverbial pin drop.  “I’m looking for little Stevie R”…even though I knew which one he was because I had checked out his website and I already knew that he had put on a few pounds.   He said “That’s me”…and I came back with “I owe you a thank you….if I weren’t able to dominate you so much on the basketball court in Jr. High, I wouldn’t have developed the confidence that I have today!”  Then, the jig was up and he quickly jumped up to give me a big ‘ol bear hug.  We talked for quite a while about the good old times, and his service for the Lord.  I got to meet his friends and family and I told him that I was proud of him…and I am pretty sure he was proud of me as well for seeking him out and being willing to be the only white guy in the room.   Of course, he already knew that it wasn’t any big deal for me, because it was the exact same way back in the day.  Just playin’ ball…that was all we needed.

Then as if that wasn’t enough, I have felt a calling from God recently to get involved somehow with the children’s homes in the local area.  I did a little research and found the one that was here in Little Rock so I just decided to take a drive down to check it out.  Our family’s history has a little experience with foster kids and adoptions and while I don’t believe God is calling me to do that, I do feel that I need to be supporting these kids in some fashion, whether it be with my time, my efforts or my money.  I drove down there but unfortunately I wasn’t able to really talk to anybody about their mission and their ministry.  The weekend workers told me I would have to come back on a weekday and talk to someone in the administration office and I haven’t had a chance to do that quite yet, but I am certain that it will happen.  It breaks my heart to think that these kids don’t have anywhere to go and I am SO grateful and thankful for those employees, foster parents and case workers that have dedicated their lives to these kids.  I can’t think of a much more noble profession that giving your life to a child.  It is truly God’s work.

I’m not even sure how I spent the rest of the day because these two things just stick in my mind like a beacon of light.  It is no coincidence that both situations revolve around thinking of others.  Don’t get me wrong, I am an incredibly selfish guy, but there is a reason why I can’t seem to recall what all I did for myself that day.  I want more days like that.

I’ve had two sets of lyrics stuck in my head all week.  One more elegant, and one a little more grammatically incorrect.  The latter is more my style.

1. So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are

2. I don’t need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don’t need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive

all kinds of stuff

The best thing about neglecting your blog for months on end is that you have no shortage of things to talk about when you do finally decide to return to the web arena known as the blogosphere.  It seems like an eternity since I sat down and crafted a description of my 40th birthday party, which is actually just more evidence that my birth date is 100% correct since my memory is fading like the wind.  No worries though…at least I’m not 41.

One of the many things that has gone on was our Church’s mens retreat last weekend in which 15 fellas embarked on adventure and….other manly stuff up in the Ozarks where we roughed it inside air-conditioned cabins for 4 days.  The conditions were quite primitive but somehow we managed to get through this ultimate survival test.  One of the highlights of the trip was all of us ‘first timers’ overcoming our fears and repelling down a 150 foot cliff.  It was an excellent choice for our fearless leader to not mention this was going to take place beforehand because I am fairly certain that a few might have backed out or come up with some sort of last minute illness because I have to say this was about as terrifying as it gets.  To face your back to the ground and rely on nothing but a rope, a harness and the experience of a few good men, is an experience that I won’t soon forget.  All I could picture in my head was me tumbling down the hill like a bowling ball headed for the pins….except in this case, the pins are some very large rocks and very hard Earth.  Of all the great things that happened on this trip, that last step known as ‘touchdown’ was probably the most exciting of them all.

A few weekends before that, the family embarked on a getaway to the Smoky Mountains to a place we refer to as Branson East…aka Pigeon Forge, TN.  As taxing as it is driving 8 hours with 2 small children, this trip still gave us plenty of memories and lots of new real estate that we had never seen before.   There were countless attractions that were perfect for the little kids and while the logistics of getting Katie’s nap in are still extremely difficult, we managed to have a great vacation and have a ton of quality family time in the process.  Dollywood was a big hit for all of us as we really enjoyed the rides, the food and the entertainment that Ms. Parton so graciously provided for us…for a nominal fee of course.  I do have something to confess though…we told them that Matthew was under 4 to get him in free.  I have no problem admitting it.  Any place that charges full boat for a 4 year old ought to be taken out behind the woodshed and received a good ‘ol fashioned beat down.  He wasn’t even tall enough to ride a lot of the rides and you are going to gig him for $52.50?  I think not.  I preferred the discounted prices of zero.  The real trick to the whole thing was to keep Matthew away from the ticket booth because if he got wind of someone claiming that he was only 3, the jig would have been up so fast that it would make your head spin.  I’m sure we would have been whisked away to Dollywood jail for trying to impersonate a 3-year-old in a 4-year-olds body.

Quick hitter #1:  Katie has been walking around with objects up to her ear pretending to be on the phone.  She picks it up and says:  “Hello, It’s me, and I am here to help you.”  As I typed it, I just realized that it’s sort of a ‘had to be there’ kinda joke, but if you were lucky enough to be there, it was worth the price of admission, I promise you.

Quick hitter #2: After our latest beating in the church softball league, Matthew and I were driving away fairly dejected.  There were storms in the air but we were lucky enough to be spared as it seemed to go around the park and the area in general.  Matthew said  something about lightning and I asked him if he had just seen some.  He said “No, I mean we were just struck by lighting….you know…because the score of the game!”  I was shocked that he even knew that we lost.  That boy is on top of anything and everything that happens on the diamond.  It’s in him…I can tell.  Soccer is a distant memory, which is another thing to be thankful for.

40

I am officially the most trusting (or more accurately: gullible) person around.  Despite all the obvious tells that my wife was giving off, she somehow managed to throw me off the scent regarding my surprise 40th birthday party, with just a few innocent sounding white lies.  But considering all the work and planning that went in to such an event, I am completely happy that I fell for the setup.  I won’t go into the details regarding the signals and tip-offs that she was putting off, but believe me when I say that they were considerable.  Nonetheless, it was a great event and one that won’t be soon forgotten…at least until I see the video of the event which will make me undoubtedly want to forget certain segments of said party.  I don’t have any pictures to share yet, but be certain that when you do get some, they will be the least embarrassing of the bunch.  I do know one thing is that I am a very lucky man to have such a wife to go through such hoops to make that night happen, considering her busy schedule…AND to have enough people that care enough (or didn’t have anything else going on that particular day) to show up and make the event special.  I thank each and every one of them.

Matthew is deep into his 1st T-Ball season and he has maintained his perfect batting average (along with 95% of the rest of the league.)  Not much stellar defense being played out there, but man, is it entertaining.  His ability is not really my focus (although it is significant)…I am much more interested and proud of his attention to the game and knowledge of the rules.  He is completely into the game mentally which is unbelievably rare for this age (and a few years older as well) so I am convinced he will be an overachiever and will out work some of his compadres.  If only that type of attitude can translate to his future school work, we will be golden.

The baby girl is getting a little closer to the golden age of 3 (Sept) and I couldn’t be happier.  She is such a doll, but will never be considered weak or lacking of attitude and fire.  Yes, it may be hard to say these things for sure considering she has only been on the earth for a whopping 32 months but I would at least put it in the category of an educated guess.  She continuously tests her boundaries and refuses to back down from her slightly older brother and her much older mother and father.  The bad news regarding this type of personality is that she will probably remain un-potty trained for quite a while, strictly out of spite…because she knows just how much we want her to go the other way.  I certainly hope to be rewarded in her teenage years in which I completely expect her to not take any crap off any and all boys that might stumble across our doorstep.  Good luck fellas.

Back again

Ok, this has got to be a record for comebacks, but for the umpteenth time, I am back in the blogosphere after quite a lengthy layoff.  So much to catch up on that I don’t even know where to begin.  Let’s start with me and get that out of the way.  I turned 40 over the break.  Ok…that’s enough on that.  I do have to say that my lovely wife made this experience as pleasant as it possibly can be, considering the overall ugliness of the milestone birthday.  We went out with some dear friends (and boy was THAT ever a surprise) to eat and made it over to the comedy club where we saw a very entertaining act.  Although I’m not certain that the comedian knew that we were laughing more AT him, then WITH him.  Nonetheless, a laugh is a laugh is a laugh.  Add that to a perfect present (new BBQ tools…I’m a very simple guy) and it was all good.

A week or two before that day, we had their yearly carnival/program at their daycare and while Matthew refused to perform, Katie brought the house down with her rendition of a dance that would make any ballerina stop in amazement and awe.  I might be overstating it a tad, but it was as solid of a performance that a 2 1/2-year-old can put on (I think…but who really knows actually).  Matthew certainly enjoyed it from the back row next to us….which was NOT where he was supposed to be, but there was no talking him out of his protest, so you gotta just roll with it and try to learn from experience.  Honestly, I did the same thing when I was that age.  There could be a thousand people watching me during some sort of sporting event and it wouldn’t matter, but put 3 or 4 butts in the seats for any type of stage performance and I clam up like Jean VandeVelde on the 18th tee (and if you know that reference, then you will know what I’m talking about).

Now, on to the moment we all have been waiting for.  Shortly after the 40th birthday and ON our 6th year anniversary, Matthew made his long-awaited debut on the field of dreams.  The holiest of grounds.  The diamond.  The friendly confines.  America’s pastime.  Yes, it was finally time to ‘play ball!’  He was so geeked up for this event that he just couldn’t stand the anticipation.  The thought of playing a real T-ball game was almost too much for him to take, but he found a way to fight through all the butterflies and have an extremely solid performance.  In a league where some kids run to third instead of first, and dogpiles on the ball are commonplace, he strutted his stuff to a 2 for 2 performance (ok…that’s not saying much because only 2 outs were recorded in the normal fashion all game) in which he almost took the cover off the ball each time.  He also played one of the two whole innings at first base which is reserved for the most dependable of craftsmen….which basically is a fancy way of saying that he is one of only a couple of kids who can stop the ball when it comes their way.  He recorded the only out for the team and Papa couldn’t have been prouder.  The best thing about all of this is that I can almost feel Soccer becoming a distant memory.  Sure, he might continue playing, but it’s only a matter of time.  The smell of the infield dirt is clearly too intoxicating for the little guy to take.  Even the ‘off the field’ amenities are far superior.  Who in their right might would want to sit on a cold bench out in the open, when you can bask in the dugout glory with your teammates?  No contest…but we knew that already.

Both kids doing exactly what they love.

Gotta keep it short…

The noise level of the keyboard is in direct conflict to the spousal hibernation that is currently going on about 15 feet away, so I will do my best to keep this quick.

Katie – her use of the arms folded technique is not only masterful, but innovative.  She uses it in all the regular scenarios….not receiving another cookie, the refusal to turn on the TV, or the resistance to play ‘babies’ for the 742nd time in a row.  But her real genius is when she flaps her arms around the opposite shoulder during times of just minor frustration that doesn’t have anything to do with anybody else.  We were on the playground and she was trying to balance on the railroad ties that border the area.  She would walk on them…like we all have done..and try not to fall off one way or the other (don’t worry..it was about a 4 inch fall).  She would take a few steps, fall off to her left, and fling her arms around each other like she was just kicked out of some sort of secret sorority meeting.  Of course she would get back on, only to take 3 more steps and repeat the whole process again.  It went on a few more times and I begin to imagine to myself: how much money would I pay to have that 2 minutes on video?  I might just mortgage the farm.

Matthew – we have a guy that comes out and occasionally works on our yard….as we have too many projects for us to ever get to.   Literally.  Anyway…Matthew decided to work alongside him today and at one point, he asked if he needed a ‘smoothie’?  The answer of course came back “No, but thank you anyway.”  But the boy did not give up.  He made a point to walk all the way back up to the house (about 250 feet) and get the man a cup of water and bring it back to him without any coaxing or encouraging whatsoever.   He continues to amaze us.  Of course, if you think he is nothing but a little ball of generosity, try getting that last spoonful of ice cream away from him.  Good luck with that.